When you realize someone doesn't like you

There comes a time in our lives when we realize that not everyone likes us.  It's a sickening feeling, it makes you feel inferior and wonder what could you could have done that someone doesn't like you, when you though your were a fairly nice person.  But truthfully not a single one of us is the moon and the stars to everyone.  Surprising right..nope not really.

So then what do I do(everyone reacts differently)?  There was a time that I would freak out, probably cry(when I got home), taken a pill because of course it was going to cause a panic attack just going over what I could have possibly done.  But that has changed or is changing.  First of all I make sure to  which write, in depth, at least 4 times a week in my journal.  This has given me a whole new outlook on the things that are going on in my life and around me.  Another was accepting that I can not control everything, that some people don't care how I feel. Now I am not saying there aren't people who care about me or who know when I am a bit "off".  But the truth is that not everyone is going to like me and even though I may never know why the world will keep spinning.

BUT this also gives me the freedom of not having to love, like or even tolerate people who I kept in my life for way to long.  What a freeing feeling.  I don't have to like you and you don't have to like me.  Imagine that....we don't have to like everyone and they most certainly don't have to like us.  The difference with me is once upon a time it could drive me to a total feeling of panic and misery.  I would actually feel physically ill.  But not any longer, you see I am taking my life back.

Guess what!  This doesn't just go for people you work with or live near but your family also.  I don't mean my children or my mother or sister...I love them, yes we argue, sure we don't always agree.  But its OK.  Now there are other members of my family ..well...not so much.  And that is OK, painful at times, but in the end it is healthier for me.

This was an eye opening experience for me.  A freeing experience.  I feel like for the first time in a very long time that I don't have to feel guilty for not liking or wanting to be around someone.  And I am OK with you not being my biggest fan either. After all not everyone gets along.  Maybe someday in the future we will find a middle ground but the fact that I no longer pretend to like someone makes my life easier and also takes away the panic because I can honestly say that I really don't care as much (there are still lingering bits of panic or pain but I am getting there).  My days of crying and panic about things I could not possibly fix it are over.  No it is not always easy and sometimes I feel a little panic creep in but then I think about it, breath slowly and go on with my life.