Lonely people

Remember the song:...Look at all the lonely people...thinking that life has passed them by?  Well it's true there are so many lonely people in the world, in your city, on your street, in your house, at your your job or maybe just maybe the lonely person is you.

Last year and part of this year I went through period of loneliness that almost brought me to my knees yet when people asked me how I was I would say I was fine.  I wasn't fine, my heart hurt so much I would cry myself to sleep or cry in the shower when there wasn't anyone to hear me.  I was so lonely that I really didn't know where to turn.  I mean I had my family and my best friend but truthfully how often did they want to listen to me bitch and moan and cry about how hard life was when their lives were hard to, the fact was I just had a harder time handling mine.

The surprising thing is that you could ask some people and they would tell you I was fine.  But I wasn't.  I was truly and deeply lonely, scared and some days frightened.  I was just able to cover it well which while being a great skill is not one I ever want to have again.  To be lonely and frightened is hard especially because you don't realize until you come out of the fog how many people would have helped you, would have held your hand or listened.

There are still days where I am lonely.  Some of them I reach out for help but some of them I am to afraid to.  This is my issue and something I need to work on.  Because from the bottom of my heart I DO NOT want to be lonely anymore.